Wednesday, April 23, 2008


Apple Pie Hootch at its best...wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Please be careful with this concoction, it is hard to taste the alcohol. So, you don't know you're tipsy, til you stand up and fall down.

~64 oz. apple cider (I couldn't find apple cider, so I purchased the Mott's Natural Fresh Pressed apple juice that is pressed from apples with the pulp)
~2 individual packages of Spiced Cider mix (If you have some lovely apple cider, you can skip this ingredient)
~3/4 c. dark brown sugar
~3 large cinnamon sticks
~3 cloves
~2 dashes of powdered cinnamon
~1 dash of nutmeg
~pinch of ginger

Heat this mixture up to a boil, then cover and turn heat down to simmer for about 30-45 minutes. Cool completely!!!! This is very important, because I really don't want you to have an apple pie scented inferno.
~1 1/2 - 2 c. 100-180 proof grain alcohol. (depending on how hootchy you want your pie) :D

I used 1 1/2 c. of 100 proof vodka. But, really this part is up to your discretion and discriminating hootch tastes.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Do you love me...I mean, really love me?? *UPDATED*

The research Ive put into this is exhaustive to say the least, but these are as close as I could get without someone from Lofthouse actually calling me and saying, "You are such a good person, here is the original recipe." ha.
As if, right?
Well, anywho, long story long, Ive spent more time and money than I care to admit to in developing this recipe, that ended up being pretty simple.
Who'da thunk it?
I hope you all enjoy!


~1 18 oz. white cake mix (pick one with pudding in the mix)
~2/3 cup flour (mix well into the cake mix)
~2 large eggs
~1/3 c. oil (I used soybean)
~2 T. sour cream

mix well with a handmixer or Kitchen Aid. The dough will be fairly stiff, enough to roll into 1" balls with flour dusted hands. I placed them on a Silpat type baking sheet, these are lovely to keep your cookies from getting too brown.
If you don't have a Silpat, you might want to raise your oven rack a little higher than middle of the oven if the coils are on the bottom and watch them close!
Flatten the balls with the heel of your hand to about 1/2" thick.

Bake these off at 350* for about 10-12 minutes. You will know they are done when they feel somewhat firm in the center.
Srsly, people, if you overbake, you'll lose that soft cakeyness and that would be a shame.
Here again, I will suggest you invest in a Silpat or a generic version there of.
What I have done is just take out one cookie and bake it first as a guinea pig.
You want the cookie barely set but, not gooey.
You don't want the bottoms brown, we're talking pasty here, but set.
Take them out of the oven and let them sit for a minute to let set up.
Transfer to a sheet of foil to cool completely. While they cool, start the icing.


1/2 cup Crisco (don't look at me like that)
1/2 cup butter
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 cup water, milk or liquid flavored coffee creamer
1 lbs. confectioner's sugar
1/2 pkg. Dream Whip
1 Tbls. meringue powder
1/2 tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. vanilla

Beat Crisco and butter until smooth and blended. Dissolve salt in water and add extracts to the water. Add the meringue powder to the Dream Whip, mix well, then add to it and the confectioners sugar to the Crisco/butter mix. Carefully beat in dry ingredients then mix on medium-high until the frosting is light and fluffy.
Add some food coloring if you'd like...Im an aqua fiend.

Now, either pipe on with a pastry bag or schmear on with a spatula. At this point, you MUST use sprinkles...if you don't, the sugar cookie faeries will come and take your cookies away, because you don't deserve them.

Store the cookies in a tupperware type container right after the icing has set.
The cookies will get that dense, cakey texture after being stored in the air tight container overnight or for a few hours.


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